Marriage After Sobriety: What to Expect

An online sobriety support group might be a helpful addition to care. About 10.5% of young people under 18 live with at least one parent with AUD, according to research. It’s also important to ask your loved one directly what you can do to help, especially during special events where alcohol may be served.

Dear Abby: Wife reflects on long marriage to alcoholic – The Santa Rosa Press Democrat

Dear Abby: Wife reflects on long marriage to alcoholic.

Posted: Fri, 12 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Talk to other people in the same situation and get support from them whenever possible

  • Carefully explain the consequences of their actions and how they affect the home.
  • They can help you communicate in a way that doesn’t put your addicted spouse on the defense.
  • Just know couples therapy will likely only have benefit if they’re willing to do some self-work at the same time, either through individual therapy or an AUD treatment program.
  • Watching someone you care about deteriorate into alcoholism can bring on a flood of emotions that you may not easily handle.
  • It can also affect other loved ones in and out of your household, including children, siblings, friends, and parents.

If not done carefully, confrontation can end badly, especially if the person is a functioning alcoholic in denial or someone who has a history of verbal or physical abuse. In general, it may be smart to have other people present when confronting the alcoholic. Supporting your loved one with AUD can be extremely beneficial to their recovery. This may involve keeping them safe while they’re drinking or offering to help find a treatment that suits them. However, taking care of yourself should be of utmost importance, and it’s OK to take a step back at times and redirect attention to your own self-care.

Encourage them to get support

But they can also help you identify any key signs suggesting it’s time to consider leaving the relationship, if only temporarily. If a parent has AUD, a child may experience excessive stress because they don’t know what mood their parent will be in from day to day. Children may no longer be able to rely on the adult with AUD, which can place undue pressures on them. They might also be at risk for other forms of physical and emotional violence.

  • Your alcoholic husband or wife could be supporting your family financially.
  • They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk.
  • It’s good to talk about how your spouse’s alcoholism is affecting you, and your marriage, but make sure you choose your words carefully.
  • Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website.

How to support your loved one in getting help and getting healthy

People who are high functioning with a drinking problem “seem to have everything together,” says Matt Glowiak, PhD, LCPC, a certified advanced alcohol and drug counselor. They’re able to successfully manage tasks around their work, school, family, and finances, he says. You suspect your spouse, close friend, or relative Dealing and Living with an Alcoholic Spouse has a drinking problem. When a loved one has a drinking problem, it’s hard to know how to help, especially if they are in denial. Remember, a good temper is much more likely to have a positive effect on your spouse in the long run. What you really want to accomplish is recovery from the disease of alcoholism.

If eligible, we will create a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs. If The Recovery Village is not the right fit for you or your loved one, we will help refer you to a facility that is. In short, denial is likely to occur on both sides of your marriage.

Small wins, such as abstaining from alcohol for a certain number of days or attending therapy sessions consistently, should be acknowledged and praised. This positive reinforcement can help motivate and strengthen their commitment to sobriety. They may also withdraw from social situations and find excuses to miss events or optional commitments where drinking is not available or possible. There may also be new legal issues arising for them, like driving under the influence or making other poor decisions.

Dealing and Living with an Alcoholic Spouse

The following are options to consider when dealing with an alcoholic spouse:

Children can be affected